How to STOP Comparing Yourself to Others
HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Do you ever get caught up feeling like you’re in a trap - comparing yourself to others, feeling stuck not knowing if your offerables…
Aren’t powerful enough | Are overpriced | Are undervalued | Aren’t speaking to the right audience
Just bottom of the barrel self-doubt? Stuck in a poisonous mindset of comparing yourself to others in your field?
Maybe you’ve had thoughts like these:
I ‘should’ be making a certain amount of money
I ‘should’ have quit your job by now
I ‘should’ be seeing better results by now
I ‘should’ have a certain number of clients
I ‘should’ have more followers, likes or subscribers
Ok first of all throw those ‘shoulds’ out the window. By now it’s time to fully embrace that the shoulda-woulda-coulda approach isn’t going to do ANYTHING for you. Seriously, nothing.
At one point or another, we’ve all obsessed over someone else’s success. It’s not a comfortable place to be. At all, it is not productive, healthy or propelling you forward. Ultimately focusing on the goals of others can deter you from appreciating your own successes.
Acknowledging your achievements is key. Now I don’t mean buying umpteen bottles of bubbly after your first 20 email subscribers. BUT, it’s important to appreciate your own milestones as they happen and understand that everyone has a different journey.
It is also a great way to get a solid understanding of how much you’ve grown since starting out and how much more you can develop.
The truth about constantly comparing ourselves to others is that it’s often not on a level playing field. Now yes, I do always encourage the mindset that everyone has the same number of minutes in a day. But when doing the mental-bashing you’ve got to put into perspective that you never really know anyone else’s internal struggles or what it took for them to get where they are.
I used to feel it all the time in Real Estate when I first was building my real estate company. I would constantly hit a wall of frustration in how I wasn’t where these other teams were quite yet. Part of me loved it because its the fuel that drives me to be better, but I had many days of feeling the comparison and aching from it. I’d have to grab my own two shoulders and shake myself into the realization that these guys had 15+ years of experience, AND were locals, so their spheres were that of family, friends, teachers, people they’d been surrounded by for decades.
We also tend to compare the worst aspects of ourselves with the best about someone else.
Time to stop the vicious cycle.
Rather than comparing yourself to others time and time again, it’s good to step back and think of the bigger picture.
Many of us end up measuring success by comparing it to others in a similar position.
But, hold on – isn’t that what society has always conditioned us to do?
Guess what, if Sally had 3x new 5K clients in her first 3 day of a brand new business… doesn’t mean that you need to beat yourself up for not having those Exact. Same. Results.
Your journey… is YOUR journey.
Stop this in its tracks next time you are feeling ‘compare-y’
1. Walk your OWN Walk
We compare ourselves to others when we see that someone else is in the position we want to be in. You might see that they have a string of clients on the list, lots of social media interaction, all the goodies and are jet setting every other week – then the jealous thoughts creep in…
”When will my time come?”
It’s important to realize that we all move at our own pace; the way something happened for another won’t necessarily pan out in the same for you. Make sure you’re moving at your own pace and feeling comfortable with your actions as you embark on this new journey.
Don’t rush it! Embrace the process, be as genuine as you can through your social media accounts, engage with your audience, and slowly but surely the idea of what others are doing won’t always be at the top of your radar.
2. Ditch the Negativity
Now the second thing that almost always comes with these comparisons with the negative talk. That is the absolute root of all evil. Negativity has a way of really captivating your whole mind and can play some pretty nasty tricks on you.
As your mind drifts from 'when' you may start to feel some of the
"I'll never get there, thats SO far from where I am today, so unrealistic"
aka... blah-blah-blah. I should wash your mouth (err, brain?) out for even thinking those thoughts!
Just think of how much time and energy you waste comparing yourself to others – the clients they have, how much money they’re making (supposedly), how they stay so productive, their miracle morning routine – it can often distract you severely from your own hopes and aspirations.
Rather than feeling jealous of someone else's happy, find your own!
Nobody shows their struggles, especially on social media, so it’s difficult to determine what someone else is actually going through.
Changing your mindset will begin to define.. how you define yourself – this is not done through constant comparison of others.
3. Be More Aware + Appreciative of Your #LittleWins
Those who are more self-aware of their goals and successes are less likely to dwell on everything they don’t have.
Who has time to think about what someone else is doing when you’re busy building your own empire?
Again, celebrate the wins, big or small (sans umpteen bottles of bubbly) and document the achievements and milestones that you conquer. You conquered them YOUR WAY. Think about all the wins you have conquered already (leaving your 9-5, starting your own business, sharing your journey, helping others, growing your reach, etc).
That, my friend, is something to be proud of.
4. Find your Fire, Inspo + POWER
Too often, we look at what someone else has and ask ourselves:
Why can’t I have the same success?
Why can’t it happen to me?
Why not me?
How can I do it like they did?
I’m just as good as they are, why isn’t my business picking up yet?
...The list goes on and on.
But why do we take the time and energy (there are those keywords again!) to compare ourselves to something we don’t have?
Rather find inspiration, fire and EXCITEMENT from the experience and stories of others, and use them as lessons and tools on your own path to success. It’s the best way to remain mentally, physically and emotionally feelin' good.
5. Compare Your Own Milestones
All we can hope for in life is to become the best possible version of ourselves.
Try instead to look at your journey from a different viewpoint, think bigger picture, and learn to appreciate every little victory along the way.
This will make it so much easier to focus on what you’ve achieved so far, rather than the things you haven’t accomplished just yet. After all, this is your journey!
It’s crucial to have a worthy ideal of where you want to be in the following months or years. This will make it so much easier to consistently work towards where you want to be, how you will get there, and how you will feel when you arrive.
6. Give a Little!
The final step to stop comparing yourself to others, is to give back.
Help someone else who is starting out and offer your services, your advice, or even connections to help get them started. Just think, wouldn’t you have loved a little help and guidance when you first quit your job or started out on your path?
Ever need to talk? I'm always here.